Death Under Accusation
by DavidArchuletaLove15
Summary: The tragic story of what a beautiful teenager's life has become due to traumatic events. One-shot. Re-posted.


**I'm re-posting this. It was deleted last year. Enjoy :)  


* * *

Lilly's POV**

Joe doesn't know.

None of them do. They just don't want to know. Because they don't care. All of them are the same.

I thought they were my friends.

Miley...Oliver...Nick...Kevin...even Jackson.

But none of them care anymore.

And it's all because of him.

Jake.

Jake Ryan.

The guy who raped me.

--

"Joe!" I called out, rushing towards him.

Joe turned to face me, and his face hardened. His jaw tightened, and he snapped, "What the hell do you want? You've already broken my heart. What else can you take from me?"

I shook my head, blinking back my tears. If only he knew what Jake had taken from me against my will. "Joe, can we please talk?" I begged.

Joe looked around the halls of the school. Crowds of people had gathered to watch us talk, and not just because they wanted to see Joe Jonas. Around this school, everyone is used to having him and Nick here. The crowd was watching for a different reason. "Look, Lilly. I don't want to talk to you. Not now. Not ever."

And with that he walked away.

Leaving me to get laughed at.

--

"Ouch," I muttered.

I watched the blood pour down my arm. I shook my head. Lately, this was the only way I could deal with my pain--by creating more pain. But I liked this kind of pain. Sure, it hurt like hell, but it gave me a feeling of control.

I grabbed a towel from the bathroom counter and wiped the trail of red off my arm.

My parents don't suspect a thing. Mostly because my mother is living in France with her new boyfriend, and my father is too busy with his twenty-something girlfriend. I hate living with my dad, because he's never home, and I always feel so alone. And maybe if he was home more often, then Jake couldn't have hurt me. But the fact is...he DID. And now I can't change that. So the only thing I can do is hurt myself, so at least I can feel like I have a say in how my pain occurs.

It hurts to know that all my friends hate me. It hurts to know that they believe him and not me. Then again, I can't blame them for being stupid. They were shown evidence, and how can you deny evidence? Pictures don't lie, right? Well, in my case, they do. I didn't say he could take pictures of me, but he did it anyway. And when he showed all my friends and my boyfriend, I was humiliated and angry. I'm really surprised, though, that Jake didn't show our whole school. It's probably because he thought that showing my friends and boyfriend was enough. Either way, he still told the whole school that he slept with me. And I couldn't deny it, because he said if I did, then he'd bring a knife to school and kill me.

And it killed me to see the look in Joe's eyes when he confronted me about what Jake showed him. The pain and heartbreak in his eyes was enough to make me cry--and I did. But he didn't care. He broke up with me, calling me names. Slut. Whore. Liar. Cheater. Bitch. He said it all. And that was enough to make me run home and cut myself--and I did.

The first time was last Thursday. I didn't go to school on Friday. It's now Wednesday. This is my seventh day of cutting myself. It's an addiction. A habit. One I can't break, simply because I LIKE the pain. Jake said he'd kill me if I told that he raped me. Now, I COULD let him do that, but I think that killing myself is a better option. Like I said before, the only reason why I like cutting myself is because I control the pain. I can't let HIM control it--not again.

If you're wondering why I haven't killed myself yet, it's probably because I am a chicken. I am afraid to die. Truthfully, I have come really close to just grabbing bottles of pills and using them to kill myself, but I'm not so sure what that would feel like, because I've never done it before. But one day I will cut myself so deep that I will die. I am getting closer and closer to that day. It's been a week, and I don't think I'll live more than another two. Maybe one if my former friends decide to make me even angrier.

Miley, Oliver, and Nick are in my homeroom. They used to be my best friends, of course. But now they hate me. They think I really cheated on Joe and slept with Jake. No one knows that Jake raped me after breaking into my house last Tuesday.

In my opinion, Jake only raped me for two reasons. One, he wanted to get back at Miley for choosing to date Nick over him. Two, Jake hates Joe's family--all of them--because they stole the spotlight from him in Malibu, which bugs Jake immensely. So he decided to rape Joe's girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend, now.

--

The next day, I walked into homeroom alone.

A deep silence fell over the room, as if everyone had been willed silent just by my appearance in the room.

I glanced down at myself. Despite the fact that it was semi-warm September day in California, I was wearing skinny jeans and a sweatshirt. I was wearing short-sleeves underneath, but I didn't plan on taking my sweatshirt off because then everyone would see what I'd done to myself.

I walked slowly to my seat in the front of the room. I have sat there, alone, for over a week now. And I think that's how it will be. Until I eliminate myself from the world.

I heard Nick whisper something to Miley, and then she giggled. God, I miss talking to them. And Oliver. I miss them all. But most of all, I miss Joe. I want him back so badly. And I want him to know the truth about what happened between me and Jake. And if that doesn't happen, then I just want to die. And I want Jake, Joe, Oliver, Miley, Nick, and even Kevin and Jackson to know that it is THEIR fault. Mostly Jake's, partly Joe's, partly Miley's. A little bit Nick's and a little bit Oliver's. Since Kevin and Jackson have already graduated, they aren't around me as much, but they are still mad at me, for which I cannot forgive. They all think I am a cheating slut.

I really just want to die.

--

1st period. Math class with Nick and Miley. They shot me glares.

2nd period. Spanish class with Joe. He didn't look at me at all. Jake was in that class, and I felt his eyes on me the whole class. When I went to sharpen my pencil, I walked past Jake, and he reached out and pinched my butt. I gasped, but no one noticed.

3rd period. Gym class with Oliver and Miley. Miley didn't look at me, while Oliver just gave me a sad, upset, confused look.

4th period. Foods class, my elective, with all of them. Miley, Nick, Oliver, and Joe. Plus a whole bunch of people who made fun of me.

5th period. Lunch. I sat alone and ignored the comments of dozens and dozens of people who walked by and called me names like slut, hoe, and whore. Gosh, how could they believe Jake when he announced that he slept with me? The only ones who have an excuse for believing him are my ex-friends, who saw the pictures.

6th period. English. I got a break from my former friends, as none of them were in this class.

7th period. History with Oliver. He once again gave me a sad look.

8th period. Study Hall with Miley. She purposely sat on the other side of the room now.

Lastly, 9th period. Science class with Joe. He is my lab partner, which is unfortunate, because we have to sit at a lab table together.

I quietly sat down in my seat and looked at Joe uncertainly. He glanced over at me and saw me looking at him. He shook his head and looked away. I prayed we didn't have to do a lab today. I certainly wasn't in the mood to talk with Joe, who was my partner. I sighed and listened as our teacher gave out instructions to do some work in our workbooks. We weren't allowed to talk, which as a good thing for me. That meant no comments from my classmates who all hate me for sleeping with Jake Ryan.

I was pretty good at what we were doing in Science, so I finished my work relatively quickly. I handed it in and went back to my seat besides Joe. I could see him struggling, so I decided to try and help. I mean, what the hell? It was all I was ever good for, so I might as well try to be nice during what I hoped was my last week of life. I wanted to be remembered as a nice friend, not a cheating slut.

I carefully ripped a piece of paper from my notebook and scribbled on it: _The answer to number 17 is reflection._

I slowly slid the piece of paper across the table. Joe froze, then looked over at me. I gestured towards the note and he frowned. He hastily snatched it up and read it. He scoffed, the wrote back to me. _I don't need help from cheating sluts._

I gasped when he handed it back to me. I felt so depressed and hurt. My arms throbbed, as if begging me to grab a razor and slash it through my skin. I grabbed my pen and wrote to Joe again. _I'm not a slut._

Joe shot me a look. He quickly wrote again.

_Yes you are._

I felt tears pricking at my eyes when I read this.

_I hate you._

Joe snickered. He glanced at the teacher to make sure she wasn't looking, then wrote again. He shoved the note at me. _You're the one who cheated on ME. I hate YOU._

I sighed, pondering my options. I didn't have many. Maybe I should just tell the truth? Before I could do anything, Joe leaned over and scribbled on the paper: _Why did you do it?_

I stared at the paper, then frowned. I looked up at Joe, but he was busily working on his assignment. I made a snap decision, then wrote rapidly.

I raised my hand and waited for the teacher to call on me. She looked over at me and said, "Yes, Lilly?"

"Can I go to the nurse? I feel sick."

About a minute later, I had my stuff gathered and I stood up to leave. I roughly threw the piece of paper at Joe, watching it land in front of him. He rolled his eyes.

I took one more look at him, tears in the backs of my eyes. I was gonna miss him. And I hoped he would miss me.

And so I left, leaving Joe with the piece of paper that said: _Check your phone in 10 minutes. I'm gonna text you._

--

**Joe's POV**

As soon as Lilly left, I read her note. I shook my head and kept working. Somehow, I still felt a twinge of love in my heart for Lilly. Somehow, despite the fact that she had sex with Jake, I think I still love her. But I cannot just forget what she did. And I can't let HER forget, either. I need to learn not to love her anymore.

**Lilly's POV**

I sighed, wondering whether or not I should send the message. I shrugged and hit send. I figured that I at least owed him this much after dating for seven months. I closed my phone, not wanting to re-read the message. It was too painful.

**Joe's POV**

My phone buzzed.

I looked around the room, made sure no one was looking, then read the message.

_Jake is a fucking bastard. He raped me, but no one would let me explain that. I am fucking serious. He RAPED me. So I hope you are happy with yourself for participating in my decision to kill myself. When you read this, I will already be on my way home to kill myself. Just remember, Joseph...I love you with all my heart._

My eyed bugged out of my head.

NO! She couldn't be serious...could she?

--

I was too late.

I found her, lying motionless, in her bedroom. There was a razor in her left hand. She had taken off her sweatshirt, and I could see the fresh marks, as well as the faded ones.

I dropped to my knees and cried. I cried as I sat next to her unmoving form. I lifted her right hand and held it in mine. I suddenly worried that if anyone found me here, I could get blamed for the killing. I shook the thought and stared down at my Lilly.

She was once so beautiful, but now she barely looked like my Lilly. I cupped her chin in my hand and started to cry. I stared at the fateful huge gash that ran up her right arm. This was the cut that had killed her. She had gone deep into a vein. She had known just how deep to go in order to kill herself, but not feel an immense amount of pain. Then again, I wouldn't know if she was in pain when she died, because I got here to late. Probably about five minutes.

There was a picture of me and her laying right besides her body. I had to tear my gaze away from the photo to prevent myself from going crazy.

How come I didn't suspect rape?

I also noticed that Lilly had blood pouring out of her foot before she died. There was a pool of still wet blood down by her foot. I carefully looked down at her foot. She had carved "Joe" onto her foot with the razor. I froze. My eyes widened in horror. How could I let this happen?!

"WHY? WHY?" I wailed.

I lifted her head and cradled it against me, but that didn't ease my pain.

I couldn't believe it. It was partially my **fault**. Maybe if I had let her explain. I couldn't believe that Jake had done that to her. He took advantage of her and lied about it. He hurt my Lilly and caused her to commit suicide.

I shook my head. There was no way to change this, no matter how much I wished there was.

I cried and cried, not caring that men aren't supposed to cry. All I could do was think of how I could've prevented this. Maybe if I hadn't called her a slut in the note I wrote today...maybe...

But there was no use in dwelling on the possibilities.

She was dead.


End file.
